News overdose

I'm so confused with Newsprints. What's it with their names.

- Indian Express is not faster than the Observer.
- The Hindu is not a RSS mouthpiece but a newsfeed.
- DNA is Daily News and Analysis and not Deoxy-ribonucleic-acid.
- India Today is not about today but about The Week back.
- Mid-day comes in the morning and not like the Afternoon.

How do I get my fix of the news in all this confusion?